Change of Heart (The True Heart Series Book 3) Read online

“What for?”

  “Inciting a riot,” Amy said. “I talked to the chief after the meeting and he told me that the mayor made incendiary comments and when it became evident that the crowd was riled up, he continued to insult and provoke them. I don’t know if it’ll hold up in court, but it sure gave the women there a sense of satisfaction.”

  “Did that end the meeting?”

  “No, after the mayor got dragged off by the chief, the Deputy Mayor, Sally Keats, took over the meeting. Things calmed down after that. Millie handed over their list of demands and there was some positive discussion. Until it came to the ‘pussy grabbing’ incident. Mabel brought that up and one of the guys said something to the effect of ‘who would want to grab her old, wrinkled pussy.’ That almost started another brawl. The chief called the meeting off. The Deputy Mayor told the women that there would be a women-only meeting and their concerns would be addressed there.”

  “Are you writing a piece on the meeting?” Parker asked, sitting on the bed. She loved looking at Amy when she was excited about something. It was as if she glowed from the inside out.

  “Jeb wants me to. At first, I said no. It’s one thing to watch it all unfold, but to write about it means ruffling some feathers. I was afraid of how the men in town would take it. I didn’t want to walk around town with a bull’s-eye on my back.” Amy sat next to her on the bed. She kissed Parker’s cheek. “But then I thought about you and how brave you are and I told him I’d do it.” She gazed into Parker’s eyes, looking for confirmation of her feelings.

  Parker felt like Amy was looking straight into her soul. Weren’t the eyes the windows of the soul? She had read that somewhere. Was it Shakespeare or the Bible? She was always confusing the two.

  “Brave? Me?” Parker asked.

  “Yes, you. You’re the bravest person I know.”

  It was true that Parker had survived being deserted by her parents, bullying at school, and some rather nasty treatment from previous girlfriends. And yet, she still didn’t consider herself brave.

  “I’m glad you’re writing the article. It’s important to make a stand, especially in these dark days.” Parker had been as alarmed as the rest of her friends for themselves and all the other people that the government had targeted. What Millie’s Militia was doing was brave.

  “Well, my mom used to say, ‘There’s a thin line between courage and stupidity.’ That’s one of the only things she ever said that I agree with,” Amy said.

  “I’m proud of you for writing the article. I’m sorry I missed the meeting.”

  “It was priceless. I would’ve called you, but it happened so fast. Jeb and I thought it was just going to be the normal, usual, boring meeting.”

  They heard the flap of the doggie door, and seconds later, Rascal barged into the room. He leapt up at Parker and slathered her with wet kisses. She rolled him over on the bed and gave him a vigorous belly rub. His hind leg vibrated and kicked in a sign of ultimate pleasure.

  “How’d your thing with Carrie go?” Amy asked.

  “Answering that question requires a beer. Let’s go sit on the deck.”

  “Sounds ominous,” Amy said.

  “It’s really confusing to me.”

  “Then we’ll talk it out,” Amy said, getting up. She looked down at Rascal and clapped her hands. “Want to go outside?”

  Rascal yipped and bounded from the room.

  Parker laughed. “Now if we could only teach him to fetch beer.”

  ***

  They went out onto the deck. Rascal barked as if to tell them his plans and then jumped off the dock and into the lake. He went paddling off.

  “I love his joie de vivre,” Amy said, leaning back on the chaise. She turned her face up to the evening sun and closed her eyes. Dusk was her favorite time of day. It seemed the whole world slowed and she relished the still.

  Amy opened her eyes to find Parker staring at her. “You okay?”

  “Sometimes I wonder if I really know you.”

  “I hope so. I don’t usually sleep with strangers,” Amy said.

  Rascal climbed out on the shore and shook off, sending water flying everywhere. Parker wished she could do that, just shake off the strange feelings she had.

  Amy sat up, and swiveled toward Parker. “Why don’t you tell me what you’re so worried about?”

  “I don’t understand why people hide things from the ones they love.”

  “I’m not hiding anything,” Amy said. “You don’t think that, do you?”

  Parker squirmed. “It’s just that people seem to feel the need to hide their worst parts. They take great pains to only show their best.”

  “Do you think I’ve been doing that?”

  “That’s just it. I don’t know.”

  “Should I tell you a bad thing about myself? Would that help prove that I’m not hiding anything?” Amy asked.

  Parker felt uncomfortable. Did she really want to know bad things about Amy? “Do you want to?”

  “If it will make you feel better, I will.”

  “Do you have a lot of bad secrets?”

  “Define bad.”

  Before Parker could answer, Rascal thudded down the dock from the shore, his entire body emanating joy. He ran right past them, did a quick U-turn, raced back down the dock, and jumped into the lake again.

  “Okay, here goes everything bad about me,” Amy said, taking the lead. “I’ve behaved badly toward some of my ex-girlfriends. I stole a pack of gum when I was five. I neglected my mother for years because I couldn’t handle having anything to do with her. And now, I can’t make myself go see her grave. That’s all I can think of off the top of my head,” Amy said.

  “You stole gum?” Parker said, focusing in on the least offensive item. “Did you get caught?”

  “No, and I never confessed, but I couldn’t chew it because I felt too guilty. I buried it in the backyard. I dug the hole with a spoon. The ground was cold and hard and it took me forever. I still remember the blister on my hand. I considered it my penance.”

  “I go to your mom’s grave.”

  “You do?”

  “Yeah, I bring her flowers sometimes. And trim stuff, you know, to make it nice.”

  “How come you never told me?”

  Parker studied Amy’s face. “I don’t know why.” This alarmed her. She wasn’t keeping it a secret but she had made it one. “It was not my intention to keep it a secret because I wouldn’t do that to you.”

  Amy patted Parker’s hand. “It’s all right. No big deal, and it’s super sweet.” She leaned over and kissed Parker. She ran her hand down the side of Parker’s face. “Listen to me, we are not Susan and Carrie, and we can’t carry their baggage. They have their own journey. This is you and me and I trust you with my life. I am not going anywhere, ever. See this?” Amy held out her hand. “You put a ring on it.”

  “But we’re not technically married because I’m having…” Parker stopped. What was the word? Issues? Why couldn’t she get this wedding going? It was bogged down with too many choices. She should ask Amy for more help, but she hadn’t because she said she would handle the details so Amy wouldn’t have to stress. She was doing it again. Keeping things from Amy and this time it was intentional. She blurted, “I didn’t tell you that I am not up to the task of picking out all the stuff for the wedding. I should have told you but I hid it. I’m no better than Carrie.”

  “Chill, Parker. Just stop beating yourself up. Now, tell me about the wedding thing.”

  “There’s so many choices and so many things to coordinate. I make lists, I try to prioritize,” Parker said. She threw her hands up in the air—a gesture that was foreign to her until now. Normally, she was the calm, cool, reasonable one.

  At that moment, seeing Parker distressed, Rascal leapt onto the chaise and slobbered all over Parker’s face. “Geez Louise, I’m fine, I’m fine,” Parker said, pushing Rascal back. The dog sat down and nestled his big head in Parker’s lap. Parker looked down at her short
s. “Great, now I smell like wet dog, you big goof.”

  Not to be deterred, Amy said, “Tell me about all the choices.”

  “Napkins, place cards, little present doodads, the food, the venue, the music… everything.”

  Rascal whined and nudged her.

  “Wow, that is big,” Amy said. “I had no idea.”

  “I know, right? And the other worst part is that hiding this proves that you don’t really know who I am.”

  “Usually, I’m the neurotic one.”

  “This is very unsettling for me,” Parker said.

  “How about we figure it out together? Will that help?”

  Parker let out a deep breath. “Yes. But that still doesn’t address the issue of my not telling you about it.”

  “How about this,” Amy said. “I will tell you some embarrassing or shameful thing about myself and then you do the same. Then we’ll really be getting to know each other. After that, we start telling each other things instead of trying to deal with it ourselves. It’ll make us closer. Sound good?”

  “Will you still look at me the same way after I tell you?”

  “Of course. Unless you murdered someone, then it’d be hard, but if there were extenuating circumstances I might be able to overlook it,” Amy said with a good-humored smile. “Tell me something you’ve never told me before.”

  “Okay.” Parker picked up her beer and took a sip while she thought. “When I was seven, I called the police on my mom.”

  “Because?”

  “She was all freaked out on drugs. I called them, then left the house so the police wouldn’t know she had a kid. I didn’t want to go into foster care. I stayed away for awhile. Slept in the park for a few days. I never told anyone that, not even Grandma. I knew it would make her feel awful.”

  “You know, sometimes people keep things to themselves to protect the ones they love.”

  “But I don’t want us to be that way.”

  “So we won’t. We’ll tell each other everything. Agreed?”

  “Okay.” Parker felt the worry drain out of her. “Are you hungry?”

  “Ravenous,” Amy said.

  “I’m marinating chicken in a sweet and sour sauce. I’ll put them on the grill immediately. You can make the salad. We’re also having an apple pie that I did not make.”

  “Then, maybe we can look over those wedding brochures and magazines you have piled up,” Amy said.

  “You noticed that?” Parker said. She hadn’t hidden them but she’d kept them in a discreet pile in her workshop next to her Woodcraft magazines.

  “We’ll do this together. Now, let’s get that grill going. Protesting is hard work.”

  “I bet it is,” Parker said.

  Chapter Eight

  “I can’t believe you did that. Whose side are you on?” Tess asked angrily. She was standing in Parker’s garage.

  Parker was making protest signs that had ergonomic handles. Instead of poster-board, she was going to attach a dry erase board. That way one slogan could be erased and another slogan added. It was the green way to protest.

  Millie had been ecstatic when Parker had presented her with the idea. Mabel was pleased that Parker was making one for her with a longer handle so her sign would be more visible. At her short height, the sign was difficult to see and she had almost taken out more than one eye.

  “I’m not on any side. This isn’t a war,” Parker said.

  “You’re my friend. You’re supposed to have my back.” Tess was on the verge of tears. This whole Carrie thing was driving her crazy. She did not do crazy well.

  In Tess’s line of work, losing control was dangerous. When it came to social work, she had to keep her emotions at arm’s length for the sake of the kids. A good social worker did not burst into tears because she was angry.

  And now she was hurt that Parker, whom she thought was a good and loyal friend, was helping get Carrie settled into Fenton—a place Tess did not want her to be. She didn’t want to run into Carrie all the time. And she certainly didn’t want Susan running into her.

  Parker held out her hammer to Tess. “Here.”

  “You’re offering me a weapon?” Tess said.

  “You look angry. I thought you could take some of that anger out by hammering the dry erase boards to those sticks,” Parker said.

  “You’re serious.”

  “I am.”

  Tess grabbed the hammer. Parker positioned the dry erase board over the stick while Tess stuck a few nails between her teeth. Parker stood back. Tess put the nail in place, reared back with the hammer and let fly.

  The nail bent.

  “Sorry,” Tess grumbled.

  “Don’t worry about it. I’ve got plenty of nails.”

  Parker crossed her arms and watched Tess hammer. Once she got into the swing of things, she gave John Henry a run for his money. In less than five minutes, all the signs were finished and Tess had worked up a healthy sweat.

  “Feel better?”

  Tess nodded. She was breathing hard.

  “Want some iced tea?”

  Tess nodded again. She followed Parker inside the house. She sat at the kitchen bar while Parker poured the tea from a big pitcher she took from the fridge.

  “I’m sorry if what I did hurt you. It was not my intention,” Parker said. She handed Tess the glass of iced tea and sat down across from her with her own tall glass. For all Parker’s social awkwardness, she was the sweetest person Tess had ever known. That was why she was so hurt by the betrayal.

  “I just don’t understand it, Parks. I thought you all wanted her gone and now you’ve got her a posh place to live and a caretaking job? Isn’t it bad enough that she’s working at The Perk and I can’t get a good coffee in the morning?”

  Parker took her time answering. “Carrie was living in a cockroach-infested apartment. She’s an addict who is experiencing a rough patch. What she did to Susan was inexcusable. I understand that very well, believe me. But Carrie is also a person that I’ve known for a very long time. We have a history.”

  Tess raised her eyebrows.

  “Not that kind of history,” Parker said. “She’s been there for me. In the past. There were times she put her neck on the line for me. I know the real Carrie. The Carrie before the drugs. See, the real Carrie was my friend. And I know that she’s still in there somewhere. Now she needs help and I can be there for her, the same way she was there for me.”

  Damn her for being so reasonable and so caring, Tess thought. She sipped her tea. “You make good iced tea.”

  “Thank you.”

  Tess smiled at her. “I’m sorry I came in guns blazing. That was uncalled for.”

  “What did Susan say about her meeting with Carrie?” Parker asked.

  “That’s the problem. She didn’t say anything. Not a word.”

  Parker was silent.

  Tess continued, “Did you know that she still gets her coffee at The Perk?”

  “That I did not know.” Parker dipped her finger into her tea and stirred it. There was no sound except the ice cubes clinking against the glass.

  Tess remained quiet, giving Parker time to process her thoughts.

  “You should bring it up. Tell her how you feel,” Parker finally said.

  “Does that mean that you find Susan’s behavior odd? I mean, she sees Carrie every day with the excuse of needing a good cup of coffee. Come on. I’m not stupid. And, once again, she didn’t tell me about it. I wouldn’t have ever known if I hadn’t seen her with my own eyes.”

  “More tea?”

  “Sure.”

  Parker rose from her chair and began to pour more tea into their glasses. Tess knew this was Parker’s way of giving her time to think.

  Tess’s trust of Susan was eroding quicker than a mudslide in a California. She knew she sounded paranoid but some of Susan’s behavior was questionable, and the omissions of truth were piling up like junk mail.

  “Have you asked her about it?” Parker asked. She put t
he fresh glass of tea in front of Tess.

  “No.”

  “Why not?”

  “I’m afraid of the answer.” Tess rubbed her forehead. She was getting a headache from all this worry.

  “At least you would know,” Parker said.

  “What if she doesn’t tell me the truth?”

  “She will if you ask. Susan is a very ethical person. Lying goes against everything she believes in. The social contract falls apart with falsehoods. It’s like a sweater with a snag, you pull out one thread and if you’re not careful the sweater falls apart. Susan is fond of sweaters.”

  “You’re so weird.”

  “Is that news?”

  ***

  Sitting in her small office, Susan stared at her cup of The Perk’s special blend latte as she filled out forms for lab work on one of her patients. Why always return to The Perk? Carrie always worked the early shift and Susan knew it. They were cordial. After that day in the park when she told Carrie to stay the hell away from her, Susan had felt bad. She shouldn’t have been so mean, but her emotions were still raw. Their relationship was over, that was cut in stone, yet loving someone who was trying to make amends and not letting them finish their journey was antithetical to healing—so, Susan went to get coffee in order to learn to let the sting of heartache go.

  The morning coffee pickup was allowing them a form of healing, true, but it was beginning to go further than that. Susan was aware of it and so was Carrie. Did she still care about Carrie and what she was doing with her life? Was Susan truly able to forgive Carrie? Carrie had hurt her more than anyone in her entire life. Carrie had been the first love of Susan’s life. How could she ever get past that?

  Susan knew she loved Tess, but there was a part of her that kept her from fully giving herself over to her. It was as if there were one room in her heart and the door was firmly locked. It seemed Susan had hidden the key in a place so unattainable that even she couldn’t find it. She hoped facing Carrie each morning would help her find that key, clean out the dusty room, pull the dust covers off the furniture, and make it new for Tess.

  She knew that she needed to talk to Tess about Carrie, but they had both been avoiding the subject. Susan wasn’t certain if this was what Tess wanted or was it what she wanted? Susan wasn’t good at emotional talks. She’d almost lost Tess because she was scared to commit. Tess had wanted her to move in and Susan kept backing away.